Wednesday, 19 October 2011


And on the seventh day, although He should've been resting, God put a large patch over the still smouldering blimburn, somewhere near Papua New Guinea.
And He put a few Adams, a few Eves, dingoes and a tiger or two therein.
He then added eucalyptus trees and wattle, marsupials, crocodiles and columbine-tantalite, in case Adam or Eve were ever in need of a mobile telecommunication vessel.
But he did not foresee the coming of Adam's naughty forebears, who brought rabbits, foxes, camels and brumbies, Catholicism and a desire for diets containing high levels of sugar.

And though the cane was for the beetle alone, the forebears laid claim, and introduced toads that would save their precious crop.
But the toads took to emulating the promiscuous behaviour of the rabbits, instead of eating the beetles, and you can probably guess what happened next?
And so Adam's forebear tried to harness the brumby. And when he found he could not, he developed an equine contraceptive that he exported all around the globe, along with wine, ocker-blokes and Dannii Minogue.
And then, just when it was all getting a bit too much, He sent His son Julian into the world, to sort things out a bit. He also gave him a real mum, that took him into hiding, and as Angel Gabriel was a bit busy, he gave him the protection of a Guardian. But Julian was arrested by the authorities, and as a cock crowed 'Aussie' three times, when asked who Ricky Ponting was, Julian denied all knowledge of him.
And then he sort of wrote an autobiography, and then changed his mind about it later.