Sunday, 9 February 2014


I’m not one for massive shows of affection, and at this time of the year I think we should focus on the death of baby Jesus more, and Rudolph Valentine a lot less.
The supermarkets and petrol stations are full of sexy toys and cards and flowers and coal around mid-February every year, and it’s a little cynical of them to ‘casually forget’ that if baby Jesus & the Holy Spirit hadn’t teamed-up to make Jesus fly into the air, then chocolate eggs, filled eggs, novelty eggs and even mini-eggs would not have been invented.

However, I’m back on the blog for a one-off Valentino Special that I hope some of you can use to impress that special person in your life, without costing the earth, or impinging on valuable 'you-time'.

Ham & Eggs
Ham is a cheap alternative to crisps or chocolate, and can be tasty.
I use tinned ham because the animals it came from had longer lives, and this way it doesn’t go off as quick.
Ham generally comes from either a turkey, a chicken or a pig.
If it is called Bernard or Matthew, it tends to be made from our feathered friends.
Tinned ham is nearly 40 per cent pig.

Eggs are also made of chicken, but look so different, they could be from entirely different countries.
(See the link below for more eggy recipes).

The contrast between the ham and the egg can be further enhanced by keeping a distance between them on the plate.
(If you haven’t got plates, try using books or something solid like a picture frame).

Take the ham and put it on the plate.
Cook the eggs in your particular favourite way. And be brave!
Serve them on their own.
Or with peas.

Why not add some mustard to spice things up in the bedroom later?

Peas (Optional)
Mustard (Essential!)

A simple, sassy, sexy meal, for that very special someone;  prepared in minutes, and won’t break the bank (but might break the bed!) lol

Thursday, 6 February 2014



Always try to put some shoes & socks on before you leave the house.
The walk to the shops can often be littered with chewing gum, dog poo and other unsavoury items, and I find that a good pair of shoes (nothing fancy mind) can alleviate some of the yeuch-inducing nastiness of stepping into something not very nice.


Try to use your eyes a bit.
Many shops have stuff for sale that needs to be seen, rather than grabbed blindly, or sucked up into your pouch.
SEE if there any offers on things YOU ACTUALLY WANT, rather than picking up a ten-pack of kitchen roll, when you don't even have a kitchen.
Look around and see what other people are buying.
If there's a queue (and you're not in a Tesco) then it's probably for some short-dated 'reduced' products.
Here you can find cheap Billy Bear ham, bits of broken quiche from the deli, or dented cans of hairspray.

(See my next Ten Minute Suppers blog for what to do with Billy Bear ham & hairspray, and how to feed a party of ten, and still have lots of washing-up to do).


If like me, you enjoy talking to yourself whilst shopping, always look at your list in doing so. That way people think you're only a bit mad, and they are less likely to throw things at you.


Take an alarm clock with you, and set it to go off after only NINE minutes. This gives you an extra minute.

And finally CASH

Pay for things with cash. This can avoid those embarrassing moments when you get to the checkouts, and no-one wants to barter with you, despite the fact you have ten copies of the Big Issue and a head full of nits.

Tuesday, 4 February 2014


My original aim, to provide monthly, nutritious-yet-simple, cheap and easy to assemble suppers, has somewhat been usurped by a young fella with his own baby, and a lucrative contract with a national newspaper and the UK's most successful supermarket chain.

However; never one to be daunted by competition, I've now decided to publish ANNUALLY, continuing from where we left off last February   

CUP-A-SOUP (avec pain)

I hear a lot of people going on about benefits, the food banking crisis and immigrantisation, and I can assure you that you don't need ANY of these, to create this ten minute dish.
It's simple and versatile, being suitable for both supper and lunches.

There are a lot of high-end, luxury instant soups on the market at present, such as Heinz 'Squeeze & Stir' and tins that just need warming through.
Don't be fooled!
The soup contained within these tins or tubes is EXACTLY the same sort of soup you'll find in a packet, but at nearly TWICE the price!
Juggling a busy writing career and a horse can often lead to what I like to call convenience purchasing. But if you prepare your ingredients in advance, and add a little 'je ne sais pas', you can be serving up cup-a-soups  to-die-for  in next-to-no-time!

Be careful when choosing your crockery.
Tesco's 'Soup In A Mug' does NOT have to be served in a mug.
It can be served in a cup, or a bowl, or any handy receptacle not made of soft plastic or straw.

Don't worry if you don't own a spoon. A pen will do.

The bread (or 'pain' in France) is optional, but I like to think it offers something more cosmopolitan to the dish.

1. Tear open packet using your fingers or teeth.

2. Boil the kettle, making sure you have enough water to fill a mug (or cup).

3. Add water, stir, season if affordable.

4. Garnish with bread (or 'pain' which is French for bread) and serve.

Packet Soup (various flavours and themes)
Water (preferably hot)
Bread or 'pain' (optional)

                                         And here's one I prepared earlier!