Saturday, 30 July 2011


I'm an old-fashioned guy.
I like things the way they are;
but so often, they become something else entirely.
So quickly.

And I'm ashamed to say
I don't understand social-media.

I'm an old-fashioned guy.
I like it when things are planned;
but so often, things bombard your very senses
to the point of overload.

You feel ashamed to say
"I fuckin' detest social-media!"

It makes me sound like a psycho
or a schizo at best.
It's what I call my Twitter-feed Mentality.

From Hossam.
RT. @Robert Mackey - New York Times

"the tear gas canisters r being shot @ v dangerous level, like knees or abdomen.. We have to dodge them"

Via Facebook.
From Yanny Mac & Pikey Paddy.

"Homecoming Gig! Great Yarmouth Pier's Pasquale & Depp reunited for one last time. This Saturd"

From TractorGirl
RT. @YannyMac

"Ipswich FC are guilty of commercial suicide"

From YannyMac
RT @Robert Mackey @Hossam

"the tear gas canisters r being shot @ v dangerous level, like knees or abdomen.. We have to dodge them"

I'm an old-fashioned guy.
I like it when things are peaceful;
but so often your laptop window gets fogged up
with reality.

This is what I call my Twitter-feed Mentality.

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Cricket's Greatest Ever Test Series (Bob Willis)

BBC Radio 5Live had a phone-in-cum-wankfest yesterday evening, about what should 'top' the all-time best ever cricket Test Series.
Inevitably, 2005 and 1981 demanded the greatest amount of airtime.
1960 and the Bodyline tour were given a scant glance .

And it all coincided with a Botham 'tribute', on the BBC.

If 1981 is voted 'the best' this evening
(and listening to the 40-something pundits' glee at reminiscing over O'Levels and 3 channel TV, I have no reason to doubt it will),
I sincerely hope Mr.Willis is given the credit he is due.

Bob Willis won the 1981 Series for England.
It was Bob that bowled out the Aussies.
Even with the follow-on.
Lest we forget.

Wednesday, 13 July 2011

The Incredible Story of The Fat Controller & Julian Assange's Penis

I should've alerted you to the fact that this is a continuing 'Campaign Update'.

Tesco have finally removed the incredibly annoying Noddy Car from outside of their store.
Instead of "Come & play with me in Toyland' repeated over and over again, by a man who sounds suspiciously like Joe Pasquale, we now have the dulcet tones of Ringo Starr as the Fat Controller from Thomas the Tank Engine.

Julian Assange has not been seen in Ellingham or Beccles for over 48hrs now.
Knowing him, he's probably on some escapade in that London, chasing skirt and following his penis!
That lad will get himself in trouble one day. you mark my words.

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Campaign Update (Assange's Birthday Party & Asbestosis)

So the reason we can't have a Wetherspoons is because of too much asbestos.
When did product quality or customer care become part of Tim Martin's remit?
Now we've got an empty pub, slap-bang in the centre of town, that no-one wants, and may be a danger to public health.

The King's Head stood there for nearly 400years without any problems.
JD Wetherspoon came along, and fucked Beccles into a hole.

The checkout manager at Tesco is a rude cow.
Yesterday she closed two tills, as I was obviously approaching them, without a word of apology or consideration.
If it wasn't for their Value cider, I'd boycott them.

Julian Assange was 40 on July 3rd. We invited him to our Birthday Cricket game on the common, but he declined to attend, favouring a party with Vivienne Westwood and the girl who plays the lead in Australia's 'Rocky Horror Picture Show'.
I'm not sure if they slept over, or if Jules drank so much, he lost his moral-compass, but he did end up nicking some of our cricket attendees.
I just wish he would get over the whole 'Ricky Ponting' thing.