Wednesday, 21 December 2011

The Strange Story of John Osborne, the Wireless & Quite a Long Day

Made the mistake of leaving the wireless on all day.

I weaned myself off FiveLive some weeks ago by reducing background noise altogether, and by trying to read the book the wife bought me last Xmas.
My alarm on my phone (I know! It's got a camera too!) reminded me that I needed to tune into Radio4, as my friend John Osborne (no 'U') was prattling on about music, girls and sheds again.
The subsequent programmes held little of interest until 'All In The Mind' around mid-afternoon.
The presenters were examining stress-levels and were asking listeners to take part in an online stress test.
I'd chopped logs, fed the cats, and been as witty as I could on Facebook (not Twitter - I'm not witty enough for Twitter), so I thought what the hell?

After about twenty minutes I received my results, and it turns out I'm borderline psychotic!
The beeb's analysts have urged me to seek medical help as soon as possible, and to contact a relative or friend with my news, in order to ensure assistance.

They didn't give any indication as to who would put my bins out, or who would draw my wife's bath?
Amateurs probably.

I've switched the wireless off now.
No good will come of all this modern technology.

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