Saturday, 7 November 2015

40 SHOPPING DAYS & 40 SHOPPING NIGHTS (A little ditty for artificial inseminators everywhere)





The turkeys are too fat to shag
The turkeys are too fat to shag
The pimp with the pipette has stifled his gag


The children are halting, half pelican crossing
panting and texting and short term of breath
The vermin are fleeing, cubs stranded and bleeding
the chubbiest hounds full of wheezing and death



The turkeys are too fat to shag
The turkeys are too fat to shag
The zero hours worker is waving his flag



The car-parking bay widths can’t cope with the axles
the shoppers are bag-less and laden with crap
The bins overflow with roundworm and foxes
unnecessary boxes and unwanted wrap



The turkeys are too fat to shag
The turkeys are too fat to shag
A quick squeeze of semen should soften the scrag



The verges are drowning in ‘one for the roads’  as
the butchers scrape marble with bloodied old knives
the jingles from adverts turn whistles to screeches
as hungry plump husbands tell brow-beaten wives



The turkeys are too fat to shag
The turkeys are too fat to shag
Job done. Shelves stocked. Money in the bag.

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