Wednesday 4 November 2015

THE ALLOTMENT






After their rather lengthy meeting in the pub, lifelong friends Thomas, Richard and Henry decided that it was a no-brainer.
Their collective shopping bills were astronomical, they were all in the rudest of health, and the allotment fees were less than forty pounds a year.
Tom signed the agreement on behalf of them all, and a plan was made to visit 'the rods' the following Thursday.

It was Tom that piped-up first.
"Harry. We agreed that we would share the cost and share the bounty.
I don't have a car. Bio-fuel is of no benefit to me".

Henry countered.
"And I don't very much care for parsnips! Despite your good wife saying they're her favourites!
Dick? Can you arbitrate on this one?"

Richard remained silent.
He pursed his lips, raised one eyebrow, and then exhaled an exasperated plume of frosty breath.

"You still want wildflowers don't you Dick?"

Richard nodded.

"We won't reduce our bills by growing wildflowers!" Henry cried.

"And neither will I by growing rapeseed Hazza!" Spluttered Thomas.

Richard shrugged his shoulders and slowly walked back to the lean-to shed.

It was here that he devised the plan to kill both Henry and Thomas, and bury them under a sea of poppies, cornflowers and dog violets.


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