It's official.
I'm no longer an ABC1.
According to the Office of National Statistics, my shopping basket is no longer representative of the average consumer.
I should've seen this coming when I started growing my own veg, and I opted for a payg phone, with incoming calls only.
As an ex-vegetarian, I was surprised to see pork shoulder joints removed from the list.
My local Tesco devotes at least 30sq feet to freshly slaughtered pig, but only a tenth of that space to 'veggie-hippy-stuff'. Cigarettes have also been taken out of the average representative shop, despite my local Tesco devoting twice as much space to these (per unit) as for dead porkers.
I can only assume the normal UK shopper is eating too much chicken, and has been forced to give up the weed by do-gooding campaigners & politicians who don't like Ken Clarke?
With sparkling wine now included, along with dating agency fees & apps(?), the average British consumer could be seen as a Bridget Jones type, desperate for the right fella, and in denial of her social-alcoholism, capable only of cooking oven-ready meals.
The problem here, is the removal of the fleece.
Why was the fleece in the shopping basket in the first place?
Did a shameful piece of mass-produced clothing, suitable only for festival camp fires, and slouching about with a pyjama'd partner, really represent the typical UK shopper over the past few years?
Is it any wonder dating agency fees are on the increase?
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